Sorority Recruitment: A Parents' Guide

Dear Parents,

Joining a sorority is a big deal for many college students, and we’re here to help you support your daughter* through this exciting journey. Whether you’re eagerly anticipating your child joining your sorority, new to the world of Greek life, or have some reservations based on your own college experiences, you'll want to understand the process and how you can assist your daughter in having a positive recruitment experience.

*By “daughter,” we mean any college student going through sorority recruitment. While we usually use “they/them” to be inclusive, in this post, we’re using “she/her” for clarity. We fully support any non-binary and/or trans student who chooses to go through sorority recruitment.

 

The Pros of Sorority Life:

• Higher Academic Performance: Sorority members tend to have higher average GPAs compared to non-affiliated students.
• Timely Graduation: Sorority members are more likely to graduate within four years.
• Leadership and Philanthropy: Sorority life offers tons of opportunities for students to develop leadership skills and engage in philanthropic activities.
• Support System: Sororities provide a strong social safety net, supporting members both academically and emotionally.
• Successful Alumnae: Sorority women are often achievers. Just look at accomplished figures like Eleanor Coppola, Sara Blakely, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 

Addressing Your Concerns:

Hazing:

Every Panhellenic system and sorority nationwide has a strict no-tolerance policy on hazing. However, we can't deny that incidents occasionally occur. Both the school and the sororities are committed to protecting your student and maintaining their own reputations. Encourage open communication with your daughter to ensure she feels comfortable reporting any inappropriate behavior. The students who have been most successful at holding chapters accountable for hazing and misconduct often have strong family support. Fortunately, 99% of what we hear about sororities reflects a supportive and positive environment.

Elitism/Exclusionary Policies:

We’ve come a long way! First, all National Panhellenic Conference (NPC) sororities post their diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) policies on their sites, which include guidelines for trans and non-binary students. Additionally, almost every sorority has eliminated the preferential treatment legacies used to receive, and in no cases does being a legacy guarantee a bid. They’ve also eliminated required recommendation letters and give much less importance to the ones they do receive. These changes give each local chapter the space to build the sisterhood they envision.

Costs:

Understandable. Sorority membership dues vary wildly, from $300 to $5,000 per semester, depending on the school. Your school’s Panhellenic organization should provide you with a good estimate of what dues will be ahead of recruitment so you and your daughter can determine if joining a sorority is realistic. The expense can be daunting, but we don’t know any alumnae who regret the investment. More on dues below.

If you and your student choose to go through sorority formal recruitment, we want you to be informed so you can help your daughter find the sorority home that’s right for her. We'll walk you through the essentials of recruitment, including registration, key materials, common terminology, a schedule overview, expenses, how to prepare for recruitment, and what to expect as she navigates the process.

Note: There’s a lot of sorority-specific terminology, and we won’t have room to explain it all here. Please refer to our Sorority Glossary for detailed explanations.

 

Registration

Deadlines:

Your school will require Potential New Members (PNMs) to register for recruitment ahead of the event. These deadlines vary, so it’s a good idea for your student to look up the dates and create a timeline for preparing any registration materials.

Cost:

Registration fees cover the expenses associated with recruitment, such as t-shirts, software licenses, refreshments, and staffing. This fee can range from $35 to $375 and is nonrefundable.

Online Forms:

All registration is now online. The forms will ask for basic information like name, high school, hometown, GPA, future major, lists of activities and interests, and sometimes short-answer questions like “Why do you want to be in a sorority?” Most also require a photo, and some might need a high school transcript and/or a social resume. While some of this info is collected to verify eligibility, a copy of these forms goes to each chapter on campus so the recruitment teams can try to match PNMs with members who have shared interests for recruitment conversations. We’ve covered these submissions in detail in our guides for Registering for Recruitment and Recruitment Information Forms.

Recommendations:

As noted above, Letters of Recommendation are not required, but they can help a PNM stand out from the crowd. We always recommend collecting them. More on this in our Guide to Traditional Recommendation Letters.

Formal Recruitment Structure

Timing:

Formal recruitment usually takes place the week before classes start in the fall or January before the second semester. It can last 4-8 days, starting with orientation and ending on Bid Day. Sometimes students move into a temporary dorm and then transition to their new sorority houses after Bid Day. Other times, they move into freshman dorms early and stay there until moving into the sorority house their sophomore year.

Rounds:

After orientation, there are a series of rounds leading up to Bid Day. In the first round, PNMs will visit every sorority on campus. In the second and possibly third rounds, they’ll visit fewer sororities each time, narrowing down their choices. The final round is called Preference, where PNMs attend up to two parties before bids are extended.

Matching, aka How the Field Narrows:

After the first round, the mutual selection process begins. PNMs rank the sorority chapters they’re interested in getting to know better, and the chapters also rank the PNMs they’re most interested in. Panhellenic uses matching software to optimize these preferences while reducing the number of parties each PNM attends. In the second round, each PNM will find out where she’s been invited back. She might be invited back to all her top picks, or she might be released by a sorority she was interested in and may not have a full schedule. Some schools have a third round with the same process, while others go straight from the second round to Preference. At Preference, each PNM attends a maximum of two parties, though she might have only one option at this stage. The matching process aims to place as many PNMs as possible, but there are no guarantees. After Preference, the PNM ranks her final two sororities and submits a Membership Recruitment Acceptance Binding Agreement (MRABA), committing her to accepting the bid she receives the next day. When you hear “trust the process,” this matching system is what they’re talking about.

Bid Day:

Bids are extended the day after Preference. Some schools gather all the PNMs in one spot to open their bids simultaneously (you might have seen the Bama PNMs in Bryant Denny Stadium on TikTok). Other schools distribute bids via email, giving PNMs privacy to process the bid they receive. At a designated time, all the (now) New Members will meet up with their new sisters for a big welcome celebration filled with smiles, hugs, and plenty of photo ops!

What’s This Going to Cost?

Registration Fee:

The registration fee for sorority recruitment can range from $35 to $375. This fee helps cover the costs associated with the recruitment process, such as t-shirts, software licenses, refreshments, and staffing. This fee is nonrefundable.

Early Move-In Fees:

Some schools charge a fee for the extra week PNMs spend on campus during recruitment. It’s essential to check with your school’s housing office to understand any additional costs associated with early move-in.

Recruitment Wardrobe:

Your student absolutely doesn’t need to buy a whole new wardrobe for recruitment, but most do like to pick up a few new pieces. Lots of students save money here by borrowing outfits and accessories from friends. Help your daughter figure out a budget for clothes, hair, and makeup that makes sense for your family. 

Dues:

Sorority dues can be quite pricey, and unfortunately, there's no financial aid to help cover them. Sorority membership is a luxury, and each chapter expects members to handle the financial responsibilities. Before recruitment starts, you should be able to find information on previous years' dues, and during recruitment, each chapter will provide detailed info on their current dues so everyone knows what to expect.

It's important to ask what’s included in the dues. Some chapters offer all-inclusive packages, while others might have lower dues but require additional payments for things like formals, t-shirts, and other events.

Dues are typically highest in the first semester due to one-time joining fees. They also vary depending on whether members live in or out of the sorority house. Meal plans might also be part of the dues, even for those living off-campus. You might be surprised to learn that, in some cases, sorority housing and meal plans can be cheaper than those provided by the campus.

We recommend discussing these expenses with your daughter before recruitment. Make sure she knows what you’re willing to contribute to avoid any surprises. While some parents cover their daughters' dues entirely, many students pay their own way, either fully or partially. When your daughter accepts her bid, it’s a binding agreement, so it’s crucial that you both are comfortable with the financial commitment.

A Note on Recruitment Coaches

You may have seen recruitment coaches on social media guaranteeing that they can help PNMs get their first choice bids. They charge anywhere from $1,500 to $15,000 for their services, which include help with registration materials, personal styling, conversation coaching, and even being on call throughout recruitment to answer questions and provide advice. We don’t think it’s worth the cost. Each school, sorority, and PNM is unique, and there’s no magic formula for guaranteeing a match. We believe PNMs can do just fine on their own with information from friends and online resources (the r/sororities subreddit is a goldmine of good advice directly from collegiate members).

Preparing Your Student for Recruitment

You might want to help your daughter get ready for recruitment, and she might or might not be open to your advice. Either way, here are some key things she should be doing to prepare for the big event.

Social Media:

Recruiters will definitely be checking out PNMs’ Instagram and TikTok feeds, so it's worth taking the time to optimize these accounts. Whether they’re public or private, the goal is to present the best version of herself. Refer to our guide to recruitment-ready social media profiles.

Conversation Practice:

High school students aren’t always great at small talk (or anything that risks being awkward!). Help her practice talking about herself in a way that highlights her strengths and shows off her personality. You can also teach her to ask thoughtful questions that make others feel valued.

Clothes:

Let your budget guide this one. While she doesn’t necessarily need anything new for recruitment, you do want her to feel confident and comfortable. There are tons of outfit suggestions on Pinterest and Instagram, so you might want to help her find ideas that match her personal style and her school’s vibe. Be her voice of reason on shoes: there can be a lot of walking, and a cute pair of sneakers is perfect for early rounds.

Recruitment Bag:

Whether she’s going through recruitment in Arizona in the summer or Connecticut in January, she’ll want a recruitment bag filled with essentials like a portable fan/handwarmers, breath freshener, healthy snacks, water, oil blotting papers, etc. There are plenty of videos online where PNMs from previous years share what they packed in their bags. Also, remember that PNMs aren’t allowed to bring their bag into the recruitment events, so the bag doesn’t need to be cute or match her outfit.

Mindset:

Do whatever you can to help her feel confident going into the process. The more she feels like herself, the better the whole experience will be.

Preparing YOU for Recruitment

You can do more than just hope recruitment goes well. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Learn the Lingo:

It will be easier for your daughter to talk to you about this process if you understand what she’s talking about. We’ve covered a lot above, and we also wrote a comprehensive Sorority Glossary covering terms like “suicide bid” and “COB” to help you keep up.

Check Yourself:

If you have expectations for her, try to let them go. She doesn’t need the added pressure of aiming for a “top house” or continuing a family legacy. Let her find her own way. On the other hand, if you think this whole sorority thing is a giant waste of time, keep that to yourself. For your daughter’s sake, respect her choice and don’t trivialize the ups and downs of recruitment.

Parents Groups:

There are groups on Facebook for “parents of [XX University] students” and “parents of sorority members at [YY],” especially if your PNM is at a school with a large Greek presence. These groups can offer valuable advice and perspective from other parents.

Game Time

She’s the one going through recruitment, but you might be surprised at how much you get caught up in the process too. There are many scenarios that can play out, and it's important to keep things in perspective. Here are some possible situations:

She's Invited Back Everywhere:

Yay! She’s in the great position of having choices. But with that comes the challenge of making decisions. While it’s not life or death, sorority life can significantly shape her college experience. Your daughter might have an idea of her top choices, but this could change as she gets to know the sororities better. Remind her that sorority rankings are outdated, and she should focus on choosing the sorority where she feels most at home and embraced for who she is.

Her Top Choice Drops Her, but She Has Other Good Options:

Still “Yay!” Even if her top choice doesn’t work out, she’ll find her people in every chapter on campus. Encourage her to keep an open mind and trust the process. “Trust the process” is the recruitment mantra for a reason. Encourage her to stay positive and get to know the sororities that are still options.  Almost every sorority woman we know who didn’t get their initial top choice completely forgot that where they landed wasn’t their first choice because they ended up loving it so much.

She’s Not Excited About Any of the Remaining Options and Is Considering Dropping Out:

Double down on open mind and trusting the process. Discourage her from dropping out. Sorority life is one of those areas where the more effort you put in, the more you get out of it. Even if she doesn’t accept a bid in the end, she’ll meet great people and make friends along the way—it’s like speed-dating for friendships.

Brace Yourself:

In rare cases, a PNM might be released by every sorority and won’t have a place to go for Preference. This can be devastating. If this happens, your daughter may feel hurt, embarrassed, and disappointed, and you might feel the same way. It’s tough to see your child go through this. Help her not to take it personally. The matching system is designed to place as many PNMs as possible, but it’s not foolproof. Reassure her that she’s going to have a great year no matter what. There are often opportunities to join a sorority through Continuous Open Bidding (COB), and she can always try the formal recruitment process again next year.

Bid Day

Things to Know:

Celebrating Bid Day with gifts is pretty common. While we think our sorority jewelry collection is the perfect gift for a new member, you won’t know which sorority your daughter joins until that very day, which means we can’t deliver a gift on Bid Day unless she's in NYC.

If you want to ensure she has something special, consider pre-ordering a basket from a local boutique or florist in her college town. These shops usually get the final sorority lists on Bid Day and scramble to assemble and deliver baskets filled with water bottles, t-shirts, stickers, and other goodies directly to the sorority houses. And of course, you can always send her a mazi + zo present to arrive a few days later!

At some schools, it’s a tradition for parents to celebrate Bid Day in person. If you can make it, it's a wonderful way to connect with sorority advisors and other sorority parents (though your daughter will be quite busy!). Parent groups often hold an orientation meeting while the new members are involved in their own activities.

If your daughter drops out of recruitment or doesn’t receive a bid, Bid Day can be tough. She’ll appreciate a supportive call and a thoughtful gift to lift her spirits.

We hope this guide helps you feel more prepared for what's coming! No matter where your daughter lands, we’re confident she’ll have a fantastic sorority experience and make memories that will last a lifetime!