5 Psychology-Backed Secrets to Stand Out During Sorority Recruitment

Recruitment is all about making memorable connections. The better a recruiter feels about your conversation, the more likely you are to be remembered and invited back. And when you’re invited back everywhere, you’re in the driver’s seat—you get to choose where you feel most at home. These psychology-backed tips will help you make a great impression by focusing on the one thing everyone loves: feeling seen, valued, and connected. When you make the recruiter feel good, it’s a win-win—you’ll leave them with a positive impression and increase your chances of being asked back.

 

1. Use Their Names

Why it works: The Name-Letter Effect, identified by psychologists Pelham, Mirenberg, and Jones, shows that people naturally feel positive and connected when they hear their own name. It’s a small but powerful way to make a recruiter feel valued and appreciated.

How to do it:

• Sprinkle her name into the conversation: “Electrical Engineering must be a tough major, Sarah,” or “Thanks for explaining what’s included in dues, Emily—it’s really helpful!”
• Pair it with a compliment: “You’ve been so easy to talk to, Ashley—I can see why your chapter has a reputation for being friendly.”
• Pro tip: If you’re unsure or forget her name, don’t panic—face it head on with something like “I missed your name at the beginning and I don’t want to forget you. Remind me, please?” or “I had so much fun talking to you that I lost track of your name! Please remind me.” or “I’m awful with names, can you remind me, please?” 

Why it helps you: Using their name makes them feel seen as an individual, which helps you stand out. Recruiters remember the PNMs they feel connected to, and this is an easy way to make that connection.

 

2. Take the Water

Why it works: The Norm of Reciprocity, explored by sociologist Alvin Gouldner, shows that accepting small acts of kindness fosters goodwill and builds positive relationships. Saying “yes” to a drink shows you value their effort and hospitality, even if you don’t really need it.

How to do it:

• Always accept the water if it’s offered, even if you’re not thirsty. Say something like, “Thank you, this is so thoughtful—I really appreciate it!”
• You don’t have to say much beyond “Thanks!”—sometimes a smile and gratitude are enough to keep the moment authentic.

Why it helps you: Members want PNMs who appreciate their efforts. This simple gesture shows gratitude, which creates warmth and strengthens your connection. By accepting and engaging, you make them feel good, which helps them remember you positively.

 

3. Mirror Their Energy and Gestures

Why it works: The Chameleon Effect, described by Tanya Chartrand and John Bargh, explains how people feel more connected to those who subtly reflect their tone, energy, or body language. It’s an effortless way to build rapport.

How to do it:

• Match the vibe: If your recruiter is enthusiastic and bubbly, reflect that energy by smiling and being animated. If they are calm and reserved, slow your speech and keep your gestures relaxed.
• Mirror your recruiter’s body language naturally: If they lean in, do the same after a moment. If they talk with their hands a lot, consider doing the same.
• Keep it subtle—this isn’t about mimicking but syncing up in a way that feels organic.

Why it helps you: Mirroring creates a natural sense of harmony in the conversation. When a recruiter feels comfortable and connected with you, they’re more likely to advocate for you to come back.

 

4. Reflect Back What They Say

Why it works: Reflective Listening, rooted in Carl Rogers’ client-centered therapy, demonstrates empathy by repeating or paraphrasing someone’s words. It shows you’re truly engaged and helps deepen the conversation.

How to do it:

• Echo key points: “I love that your chapter organizes the 5K for [philanthropy]. That must have such a big impact!” or make it personal with “It sounds like you really miss your dog when you’re at school.”
• Build on what they share with thoughtful questions: “You mentioned your big sister—how does that matching process work?” 
• Use their words as a bridge to share your own experiences: “That reminds me of when I organized a fundraiser in high school—I loved seeing how it brought everyone together.”

Why it helps you: Reflective listening makes the recruiter feel heard and appreciated. Members are drawn to PNMs who show genuine interest and engagement.

 

5. Highlight Something Unique About Yourself

Why it works: The Von Restorff Effect, or isolation effect, shows that people remember details that stand out. By sharing something unique, you make it easier for recruiters to recall you during discussions.

How to do it:

• Share a fun fact or hobby: “I’ve recently started training to be an EMT; I really like the idea of being prepared to handle emergencies.” or “I grew up in Japan and came to the states for high school.”
• Tie your uniqueness to the chapter: “I saw your bake sale on Instagram—I’m famous for my Snickerdoodles and would be so excited to help with something like that!”
• Keep it authentic and specific—something that feels true to you but also memorable.

Why it helps you: Recruiters meet so many PNMs, so standing out makes you more likely to be remembered when they discuss who to invite back.



Why These Tips Work

When you focus on making the recruiter feel seen and valued, you create a connection that sticks. Recruitment is competitive, and leaving a positive impression can mean the difference between being invited back or not. These psychology-backed tips help you build those connections naturally and keep you in control of your recruitment journey. Make them feel great, and you’ll stand out for all the right reasons! We're rooting for you!